How many times have you found yourself going through ‘hell’ after ending a relationship? Whether it was you who did the dumping or you were the one being dumped, somehow and someway your ‘ex’ made/or is making your life a living hell. You’ve moved on but they are still holding grudges. You’ve learned to let go but they are burying your name in the sand and causing you grief. Let’s not pretend it doesn’t happen because it does and when you’re the one being abused, it’s no laughing matter. As a matter of fact, the situation can become unbearable that you don’t know what to do.
The reason I’m writing this is because I’ve been approached in recent days by men and women who have poured out their hearts in anger and hurt. Anger because their name, credibility, career, and reputation is being ruined by someone who refuses let go and grow up. On the other end of the spectrum, people have expressed to me their hurt because they can’t comprehend how a person who seemed so loving at one time can turn into a hateful and vengeful person. No matter how you look at it, you never truly know who a person is when they get hurt.
Anyone who has been a victim of having their name, credibility, career, and reputation tarnished by an ‘ex’ should never feel as though they have been destroyed. As a minister and success coach, I would like to offer you some things you can do when your ‘ex’ is making your life a living hell.
Understand you’re better than the person trying to destroy you. Think about it for a moment. You’ve moved on and you’re doing you and your ‘ex’ has chosen to live in the past. For some reason they believe you can’t live without them. Let me be blunt for a moment. Having them out of your life is a major blessing
Understand a temporary inconvenience doesn’t spell defeat. Even though the sting may hurt, I’m reminded of what the Bible says, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” In addition to that verse, another verse says, “No weapon formed against you shall prosper.” As long you’re persistent in your new life, you will experience greater and better blessings
Do a self-evaluation. What was it that attracted you to that person? Did you see ‘red flags’ that you overlooked? What areas of your life do you need to work on? Let’s face it – you can’t get back what happened in the past. You can’t go back and erase the person and/or situation. Learn from it and fix what needs to be fixed
Refuse to go back and cut off all communication. It doesn’t matter how many apologies and I’m sorry’s you get, it’s best to keep your distance. An ‘ex’ who degrades and demeans your name, character, career, and reputation should be avoided at all cost. Forgiveness does not mean you have to communicate with them. Because the world has now become opened for you and to you, take every opportunity to experience as well as embrace it.
The worst thing you can do is retaliate in any relationship. There comes a time when maturity must prevail. No one likes dealing with a break-up, but I promise you this – if you refuse to act up and act out in a vengeful manner, your life will be better. I need you to know this – a vengeful person who only wants bad for you after a break-up is an agent of the enemy. This is spiritual warfare – DON’T FORGET IT.
Dr. Sinclair Grey III is a speaker, minister, author, and success coach. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @drsinclairgrey